Truth, Trust, & Try

"It's funny how someone can break your heart, and you still love them with all the little pieces." -unknown

I've never realized how hard it could be to let someone go until about three months ago. I had everything in the world that I wanted...and let's face it...nobody gets everything they want and gets to keep it forever. I was in the most amazing relationship with my reality "Prince Charming" and had the best friends a girl could ask for. Everything was perfect, but apparently one of them had to go. Being dropped by the one boy that I was completely in love with was not something I saw coming. It hit like a ton of bricks, like a bullet to the heart, and like a rain storm on a parade. It hurt. Even though he broke my heart, I still loved him. I still prayed for him every day, and thought about him every minute. After all he put me through...the lies, the hurtful words, the embarrassment...none of it mattered, I still had hope. My friends and family think I'm crazy, and maybe I am. I have given him more chances than he deserves, and more love than he should be allowed to receive. We met and talked last night. No matter what other people said, nothing could keep me away from him. I made it clear to him that if we are going to try one last time, and if our relationship is going to work, then he has to be completely honest with me from now on; just like I have been with him from the beginning. I asked for one good reason why I should trust him, and had to laugh at his answer (because he didn't have one), he was speechless. Finally, we agreed to try again.

Love is incredibly powerful. Like a drug, it can make you feel like you are on top of the world, and then crumble the world underneath you. It can twist your thoughts and make you believe lies, when the truth is right in front of your eyes. It can give you a sense of belonging and make you feel wanted, and then it can just as easily destroy your dreams and make you feel completely alone. I have decided that the only antidote for the side effects of love is forgiveness. With forgiveness you can move past the hurt and (if possible) try again, or move forward with other great things in your life. I have forgiven him, and now I am eager to see where our future takes us. It will end in one of two ways: we will be happy together, or we will discover it's not meant to be. Whatever happens, "the first cut is the deepest" and the damage has already been done. It is completely up to God, and I hope the love that I have for this boy will be enough to convince him to feel the same for me.